千岁朱望哲遭当朝天子忌恨，旋即沦落为朝廷追捕的要犯。他依靠侠女的帮助躲过恶吏追杀，谁知才出虎穴，又入狼窝，被老谋深算的唐员外囚禁在庄园内，作为投机所用的砝码。这一天，唐员外的儿子刺猪因为家里的狗被人打伤，于是带着家丁在市集上横行霸道，为非作歹。酒馆厨子胖发子和在街上摆着兽医摊的瘦达子（梁天 饰）都被他欺负。关键时刻，一个足智多谋的美丽女孩出手相助，谁知却勾起了刺猪的贪婪色心。胖发子和瘦达子义薄云天，并且都暗暗喜欢上了这个姑娘。他们原指望为了姑娘出一口恶气，谁知却阴差阳错担当起拯救千岁的重任。 两个傻乎乎的小人物，就这样不知不觉成了左右国家命运的大侠……
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